Midgets vs. Mascots
 2008  3.0 stars 88 mins Comedy   Rated: UR  until 23-Aug-2010

Reviewed on 09/Mar/10
Here it is, the single worst film on all of NetFIix. There is a certain charm to the Christopher Guest mockumentaries that is not present in Midgets vs Mascots. That charm could probably best be described as "jokes that are actually funny." No undue effort was spent crafting a plot: a boilerplate stoner-comedy gimmick brings together midgets and mascots in a reality-show-esque series of physical challenges. Cringe-worthy jokes are stretched to their excruciating limit and often end with a fart. Ha.

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Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - NBC Pilot
 2006  4.0 stars 60 mins Television   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 23/Sep/06
It should be noted that this DVD won't play on PS2s. Other than that, it's great -- a fast, fun, bouncy, not-too-deep steadycam chase through the TV industry. A sketch comedy show, formerly of a high caliber but lately given to pandering, makes the news when the director flips out and tells the audience and his bosses that they suck. It's up the the sexy young lady executive to rebuild the reputation of the show, the clout of the network, and the quality of TV; and she just might do it, thanks to her own pluck, some precarious alliances with fragile geniouses, and extremely rapid banter. Contrived and silly, it left me breathless.

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The Day After Tomorrow
 2004  3.5 stars 123 mins Action & Adventure   Rated: PG-13

Reviewed on 05/Feb/05
Trashy and adequate; it reaches - but oh, just barely - its extremely shallow ambitions. It's the sort of movie where a brilliant, ignored scientist gazes at sheetful of data and the camera moves in close as his eyes widen and his brow furrows and he exclaims, "but this is impossible!" You almost want to shout in delighted anticipation, "we've got to warn The President!" Hollywood's had 60 years to perfect these movies, and this one hits all its marks - they're tedious and predictable, but there's some sort of pleasing comfort in seeing them acted out yet again. The vice president doesn't listen to the Perfessor until it's too late; the plucky teen saves the day; there's monsters (in the form of creepy, uncanny-valley wolves that look to be made of putty and completely weightless); an impulsive woman-scholar in distress; a wise homeless guy; a concerned mother who cares for a placid cancer-boy; and lots of big stuff getting ruined. That's why it's sort of sad when the movie slips up and tries to bite off more than it can chew. There are moments when the movie actually tries to be ABOUT something; here and there, there's hints that the film will attempt to say something about life, or humanity, or something. A scientist makes a huffy remark to the vice president about ignoring science - is this going to be a movie about the perils of blinding oneself to evidence? A woman waits with a dying boy for an ambulance that may never come - is this movie going to be about having faith in humanity in the face of disaster? An astronaut marvels at storm's cleansing power - is this movie going to be about rebirth? Er, no; no; and no. Those would all be kind of neat themes, but they only get a gasp of life since the director has clearly decided that the thesis of his film is going to be, "Hey, wouldn't it be really awesome if it snowed A WHOLE LOT?" Yeah. I guess. It's KIND of awesome. Whatever.

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My Son the Vampire
 1952  2.3 stars 74 mins Classics   Rated: NR  until 01-May-2010

Reviewed on 12/Jul/04
Ouch. While Bela Lugosi is charming as always, this wanna-be comedy can barely sputter along under its own power. Arthur Luncan is a particular liability as an elderly maiden; his dialogue is uninspired, his sight gags heavy-handed, and his comedic timing frantic yet insufficient. Mr. Luncan is way out of his league with his sub-Benny-Hill antics - you simply can't out-camp Mr. Lugosi. The plot is satisfying enough: a bunch of pleasant nonsense about robots and vampires and kidnapped young women. There are a few scenes that are memorable simply for their outlandish silliness: a sleepwalking maid, a laser beam that makes everyone switch seats, and a pompus drunken aristocrat provide enjoyable diversions from Luncan's wide-eyed camera-hogging. Best of all is Bela Lugosi moaning, "Have I gone mad? Where is my robot? My beautiful robot?" That one shot alone makes this rental worthwhile. Put it on while you're making dinner, doing your workout, or engaged in some otherwise distracting activity; this is a movie best enjoyed in brief, infrequent glances.

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The World According to Garp
 1982  3.6 stars 136 mins Drama   Rated: R

Reviewed on 22/Oct/02
The movie has tons and tons of wonderful quirky gems, but, for pete's sake, did it have to be over 2 hours long? Its length detracts from its focus, making it a meandering and seemingly aimless journey. It's great that they were faithful to the book, but this wa a novel that really wasn't suited to screen adaptation in the first place. All the wonderful performances, fantastic dialogue, and scenic locations can't make up for the sluggish plot.

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