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Reviews by Deus Ex Machina

Plaga Zombie: Mutant Zone
 1997  2.5 stars 90 mins Foreign (Spanish)   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 22/May/08

Lots of fun, colorful zombies, a buddy movie of a different kind. A word of warning however, I couldn't get the John West theme song out of my head. What can we learn from this movie? Some zombies are intelligent, others are morons, the FBI is evil, and seems to have a fetish for kitchen knives, anything can be used as a weapon, and you never know when a body bag may come in handy.

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Day of the Dead
 2008  3.0 stars 87 mins Horror   Rated: R  until 08-May-2013

Reviewed on 25/Apr/08

Oh how disappointing. Here you are with the honor of remaking a George Romero classic, and you have zombies crawling on the ceiling. I can accept super-fast zombies, I can accept super-strong zombies, I can even over look the fact that these zombies are highly flammable and burn away to ash like they were vampires in the daylight, but crawling on the walls and ceilings? Why was that necessary? Nick Cannon and Mena Suvari aren't believable as soldiers, and the back stories are wimpy and underdeveloped. If I could give half stars, this one would be 2.5. 20080425

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I Eat Your Skin
 1964  2.3 stars 85 mins Classics   Rated: PG

Reviewed on 23/Apr/08

Does injecting irradiated snake venom cure cancer? Uh no.... I'm not sure it's worth a rental, unless you are really into campy movies, but if you see it in a bin at the grocery store for $.99 buy it, have some friends over and do you own MST3K. It's hard to tell if the zombies are decomposing or undergoing an expensive spa treatment. My favorite line....After our hero has disarmed a guard, thrown his rifle in the water, and scrounged a flare gun out of a boat. "What are you going to do with the flare gun?" "I don't know, but it's better than nothing." 20080422

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The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave
 1972  2.9 stars 98 mins Foreign   Rated: R

Reviewed on 16/Apr/08

Over acted, over sexed, over done, over dark, and at times even over exposed....I liked it! This is NOT a zombie movie though it does sometimes get lumped into that category. It's one of those wonderfuly campy '70s horror movies. A little nuditity, some light torture, and a fairly transparent mystery plot, but fun nonetheless. 20080416

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Die You Zombie Bastards!
 2005  2.2 stars 99 mins Horror   Rated: NR  until 01-May-2010

Reviewed on 14/Apr/08

I really don't know how to review this because I'm still not sure if I liked it or not. There is this underlying thread of humor throughout the movie that keeps me from turning it off. In lieu of a review, let me throw out a few keywords and let you decide based on that... Serial killer cannibalistic love interest, topless zombies, topless Swedish farm girls, well endowed creature from the black lagoon, zombies in the matching purple pajamas, exploding cheese, magic conch shell, Rastafarian psychic in a tub, sea monster, and rockabilly. 20080413

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House of the Dead
 2003  2.1 stars 90 mins Horror   Rated: R

Reviewed on 12/Apr/08

I'll be the first to admit that the stigma of being directed by Uwe Boll is something that a movie will never get over and the other movies will tease it for the rest of its life. I had a difficult time trying to figure out if it was a "so-so". or "don't bother". The stuff I have in "don't bother" is really, really bad. In the end I had to look at the lists and think, okay, if it's a choice between House of the Dead, and Return of the Living Dead 5, I think I'd rather watch House of the Dead. If for nothing else, then out of the sheer amazement that it was even made. The fact that Uwe cuts away to scenes from the video game in the middle of the forest chase just makes my jaw drop...you can actually see where it says "Insert 1 Quarter" in the corner of the screen! The rating system isn't flexible for movies like this. I gave it two and a half stars, but if the system would have allowed me I would have given it 3 "shrugs", and four "WTFs". Of course the other possibility is that i watched, rated, and listed the movie in a somnambulant state from large doses of AMBIEN. 20080411

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I Am Legend
 2007  3.7 stars 100 mins Thrillers   Rated: PG-13

Reviewed on 03/Apr/08

Not a very accurate re-telling of Richard Matheson's story of the same name. I was hoping for so much more considering this was the inspiration for "Night of the Living Dead". The vampires, rather than being a relentless, overwhelming force, became superhuman creatures that resembled the guards from "The Mummy" (1999). For such a high budget movie, the CGI creature effects were disappointing. If you want to see a truer version of the story, check out "The Last Man on Earth" (1964) (search for "Panic in Year Zero / The Last Man on Earth: Double Feature"). For a campier version, watch "The Omega Man" (1971).

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30 Days of Night
 2007  3.4 stars 113 mins Horror   Rated: R

Reviewed on 02/Apr/08

Very enjoyable vampire movie. Not really horror or a gore fest (yes there was lots of blood, but you have to expect that from a vampire movie), but still fun to watch. The vampire effects were much better than "I am Legend", but I guess that's not really saying much. Drawbacks....some plot holes that popped out during the movie (I'll let you find them). I don't mind holes showing up when you stop and think about a movie, but when you have one of those "but wait a minute" moments while you're still watching it, it's a let down. I would have really enjoyed it if they would have delved a little deeper into the history/folklore of the vampires. They've survived for centuries...how? Where were they before they decided on a tiny little town in Alaska? And, if they've been around this long, how exactly is Josh Hartnett qualified to kick their butts? Anyway, I digress. If you like Vampires, or survival under extreme circumstances, then you will probably enjoy this one.

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Gangs of the Dead
 2007  2.5 stars 88 mins Horror   Rated: R  until 15-Apr-2011

Reviewed on 20/Mar/08

Not bad. Acceptable premise, plot, script, effects, etc. The only thing that bothered me, and it bothered me throughout the entire movie, were the characters. Okay, I don't expect them to go out and hire actual gang members, but surely if you're going to explore the subject, do a good job of it. I don't mind really bad acting, or really over the top acting, but this was just....meh.

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Dead Meat
 2004  2.6 stars 80 mins Horror   Rated: R  until 06-Mar-2011

Reviewed on 13/Mar/08

I have to admit, that between the heroine's Spanish accent and the rest of the cast's Irish Brogue, I understood about 80% of the dialog, but I loved it anyway. "Dead Meat" is "Black Sheep" with cows. Or I guess since it was made first it would be more fair to say "Black Sheep" is "Dead Meat" with sheep. Grab yourself a hurley or your trusty shovel, and start cracking skulls because Mad Cow Disease has taken a turn for the worse. Not only are the cows attacking people, but the mutated strain is bringing the people back to life. Conspiracy theory you say? Not at all, I lived in England for 9 years, and the Red Cross still won't let me give blood. I've tried to explain that my hunger for human flesh has decreased to a manageable level since coming back to the states, but they're having none of it. The movie is good from start to its ironic ending.

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Renaissance
 2006  3.1 stars 105 mins Anime & Animation   Rated: R

Reviewed on 04/Mar/08

I enjoyed this very much. Animated film noir, with a little steam punk feel to it. Action is good, storyline is okay, but voicing is excellent with an all-start cast. The acting is a little monochromatic (pun intended) -- Karas flopping between angry and moody all the time gets old. If you think you're lost in the first few minutes, just stick with it. The first scenes are disconnected and don't make much sense, but they come back to it later on...they don't really explain it, but it makes chronological sense. "Renaissance" is a little "Blade Runner", a little "Sin City", and maybe a dash of "Final Fantasy" all mixed in.

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Prince of Darkness
 1987  3.3 stars 102 mins Horror   Rated: R  starting 01-May-2011

Reviewed on 28/Feb/08

Well that's what I get for believing the synopsis when it says there are zombies. Not really zombies, more like a few insomniac preppies and a gaggle of homeless people (led by Alice Cooper) that just stand around. -- Is gaggle even the correct term for a group of homeless people? Maybe it should be a mumble of homeless people? A crouch of homeless people? -- The ultimate evil ended up being a girl trying to act like Regan from "The Exorcist" while covered with the same stuff they used on the zombie Doberman in "Resident Evil". One saving grace was Victor Wong. Although after watching "Tremors" I just hear him say "here's some swiss cheese and bullets" over and over again.

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Panic in Year Zero / The Last Man on Earth
 1962  3.4 stars 179 mins Classics   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 24/Feb/08

"The Last Man on Earth" [1964] is a much more accurate telling of Richard Matheson's "I Am Legend" than the 2007 movie of the same name, and the over (or under?) acted "The Omega Man" [1971]. It's in black and white, has the obligatory stirring orchestral background music, and a very emo Vincent Price, but I enjoyed every moment of it. Very good production and photography. If you've read the short story, you won't be disappointed in this retelling.

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Dead Alive
 1992  3.6 stars 97 mins Horror   Rated: UR

Reviewed on 22/Feb/08

This is now one of my all time favorites. If you liked "Army of Darkness", or "Black Sheep", you're going to like "Dead Alive". Filled with wonderful characters, lots of gore, creative ways to kill zombies, and one joke after another. Can I tempt you with: A Kung Fu priest? Horny zombies -- leading to a zombie babie? Half a head in a food processor? A digestive system with a mind of it's own, and an anus for a head? My favorite quote would have to be, Paquita: "Your mother ate my dog!" Lionel: "Not all of it."

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Stalker
 1979  3.7 stars 163 mins Foreign (Russian)   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 15/Feb/08

Pick the breakup line that best suites you: 1) Sorry, it's just not going to work out. 2) It's not you, really. It's me. 3) I love you, I'm just not IN love with you. -- "Stalker" is beautiful, deep, and fun to listen to, but my God talk about frustrating. I want to be in love with it, I just can't. I don't know if it's commercial filled television, increasingly violent and realistic movies, email, instant messaging -- hell instant everything -- that's shriveled my attention span, but I kept waiting for something to happen. Almost 3 hours of "Okay, any second that guy's head is going to blow up", or "There's going to be an alien or a zombie, or something just around that corner." Nope. Nothing. Like I said, it's just me, you may really enjoy minute-long pans across disused hospital equipment, or rusted military vehicles and abandoned buildings, but I have the attention span of a gnat. Admittedly, the photography is stunning, the characters are interesting, and this is probably a classic at some film-school student level, but it's not one I would watch again.

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Zombie 4: After Death
 1988  2.4 stars 85 mins Horror   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 10/Feb/08

Remember Gushers? The candy that had the liquid center that gushed out when you bit into them? Well, the zombies from Zombie 4 really, really like Gushers. Either that or they're all drinking lots of NyQuil(r). It's pretty corny, you have to be a fan to enjoy it. Like Zombi 3, the zombies are all dressed alike, although these look more like the lepers from Jesus Christ Superstar than the Khmer Rouge. Also in common is one of those "Hey look guys, I found a crate of weapons" moments. Not sure if that's a plot device, but it comes in handy. These zombies are spawned from a Voodoo curse, and seem to prefer biting, to actually eating their victims. This one goes on my so-so zombie movie list.

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The Dead Next Door
 1989  2.5 stars 78 mins Horror   Rated: NR  until 01-Nov-2010

Reviewed on 05/Feb/08

It's horrible...I love it!!! "The Dead Next Door" has that wonderful Super 8 feel, but the effects aren't bad at all. If I were to put it on the Romerometer, it would register somewhere between Night and Dawn. A bunch of the characters are named after directors in the horror genre (Raimi, Romero, Carpenter, Savini, etc), which I found a little distracting. The antagonist, Rev. Jones, is the leader of a local cult and is an obvious reference to Jim Jones (right down to the tacky sun glasses). Acting was just plain bad, but in a way that made me wish I had been a part of the production. You can tell that this movie is a labor of love (all of the actors worked for free) and, if you're a zombie fan, you have to see it.

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Zombie 3
 1988  2.7 stars 96 mins Horror   Rated: R

Reviewed on 25/Jan/08

Zombi3 has more in common with "Dawn of the Dead" than its contemporary, "Day of the Dead". Though it was made 10 years after "Dawn", it has that wonderful 70's cheese and production value. Zombie makeup and effects are updated, but all the zombies are dressed like they belong to the Khmer Rouge. Favorite cheesy moment: The RV full of hot chicks and the Jeep full of (well okay only 3 of them) soldiers take refuge in an abandoned hotel and happen to find a hidden crate of weapons!

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Futurama the Movie: Bender's Big Score
 2007  4.0 stars 88 mins Anime & Animation   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 04/Jan/08

I was hoping that all the reviews calling this a disappointment were just folks being overly critical. Normally I can find something funny in any of the Futurama episodes, but the movie seemed like someone was cleaning out a filing cabinet, found a bunch of Futurama ideas that were never used and tried to turn them into a movie. If you're a fan, you'll have to see it just to say you did. There are some funny moments, but they are few and far between. If you're not a fan or have never seen Futurama, rent the series, not this movie.

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Lifeforce
 1985  3.1 stars 116 mins Horror   Rated: R

Reviewed on 12/Dec/07

"Think: Night of the Living Dead meets Dracula" -- Um, well maybe, but don't think too hard about it. It's mostly just a movie built around a pair of, albeit very nice looking, breasts. Mathilda May's breasts are a prominent feature to this movie, with the director taking every possible opportunity to show them off. Does that make it a bad movie? No, not really. I don't know that the breasts make a major contribution to the plot, but if you suffer from mastophobia, you're going to want to skip this. The actors take themselves way too seriously, which is funny even if it wasn't intended. Patrick Stewart makes an appearance halfway through the film, but even he can't pull the acting up above par. However, I've got to admit, the space scenes and the zombie-vampire hordes running amok in a burning and devastated London were very well done. Creature and special effects are on par with "Return of the Living Dead".

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Let Sleeping Corpses Lie
 1974  3.1 stars 93 mins Horror   Rated: R

Reviewed on 12/Dec/07

We all know what happens when you tamper with nature. The karmic balance swings the other way and nature has to tamper with you for a while. This time it's not an evil, profit-minded corporation that is tipping the scales, but an honest attempt at improving agrarian technology. Killing off crop-destroying bugs using ultrasonic frequencies sounded like a good idea at the time, but as it turns out it has a more profound impact. The acting is way over the top, but photography and effects were good. The premise surrounding the propagation of zombies is silly, but well -- we are talking about zombies, so I don't think I can really argue that point effectively.

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Fido
 2006  3.6 stars 92 mins Horror   Rated: R  until 21-Jan-2011

Reviewed on 29/Nov/07

Funny movie with a lot of potential, but it suffered from several slow spots. Kudos to Billy Connolly for portraying sadness, affection, anger, and shame all through the normally constricting guise of a mono-emotional zombie capable of only moans and groans. Zomcom is what Umbrella Corp would have looked like in the '50s. It's a shame that Carrie-Ann Moss didn't become a '50s version of Alice (Resident Evil), but I enjoyed her performance nonetheless.

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Versus: Director's Cut
 2000  3.2 stars 119 mins Foreign (Japanese)   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 18/Nov/07

A comedy-zombie-samurai movie? Yes please I'd like some of that. The silly yakuza should know that the Japanese equivalent to the National Park Service named it the "Forest of Resurrection" for a reason. Stop killing people and burying them there! And for crying out loud, don't bury them with their guns (these zombies shoot back). -- From the very start you realize that the acting is not only going to be bad, but overdone. Just sit back, relax and go with it. The oddball characters provide a funny background for the hero known only as Prisoner KSC2-303. Prisoner KSC2-303 is living proof that if you're young, Japanese, and very, very angry you can be invincible (in fact if you yell loud enough and shake your fist at the sky a sword will appear in your hand). After sufficient beatings, being shot, and rolling down a hill or two, Prisoner KSC2-303 emerges like an angry little butterfly from his emo cocoon. Strolling through the forest wielding a 50 cal and a samurai sword, you know there's going to be hell to pay. Literally! There's a surprise twist at the end...eh, it's okay, but the best part is the fight scene between the kooky gangsters and their un-dead victims.

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Corpses Are Forever
 2003  1.8 stars 80 mins Horror   Rated: R

Reviewed on 03/Nov/07

No, no no no, no. Oh God please no. This is almost as bad as Zombie Nation, not quite, but almost. Seems more like a student film than anything else. And come on, when your sitting in a car, with the windows down, just shooting the breeze with Zombies walking around moaning in the background, and you don't get attacked...it's not a Zombie movie. And it's not a film noir, not a spy flick, not sexy, not scary, not worth your time.

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Gilgamesh
 2005  3.4 stars 125 mins Anime & Animation   Rated: NR  until 15-Jan-2011

Reviewed on 02/Nov/07

Meh. That's the best way to describe Gilgamesh. I sat and watched the entire series (making a nice dent in my instant viewing hours) because I kept waiting for that break-out moment. "When are the scales going to be tipped back? When will things balance out?", I kept asking. It never happened in my opinion. There is a little retribution in the very end, but it's too little too late. Still, you might find something that appeals to you in the series. If you don't like it by the time you've watched the first disk, chances are you're not going to like it. It only gets more emo from there, and there's not enough action, IMHO, to justify sitting and looking at moody teenagers.

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Rowan Atkinson Live!
 1991  3.5 stars 55 mins Comedy   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 30/Oct/07

(As the Guinness Beer commercial guy) BRILLIANT! Don't be scared off by "Bean: The Movie". This is the real Rowan Atkinson in all his comedic genius. The skits on this DVD showcase his abilities as an outstanding physical comedian. Along with Angus Deayton, he covers topics from meeting the Devil when you get to hell, to a janitor that finds an invisible drum set. If you like British humor, I highly recommend you rent this.

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Grindhouse: Planet Terror
 2007  3.6 stars 105 mins Horror   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 27/Oct/07

I wanted to say "Instant Classic", but the cover beat me to it. This is a must see for the discriminating zombiephile. Campy characters, lots of squishy '70s gore (and impossibly bright red blood), and a humorous story line add to the energy that Robert Rodriguez and his cast pour into this movie. You can tell that they are all having a ball making the movie and that helps to pull you into the story. There were several laugh-out-loud moments, my personal favorite was Quentin Tarantino's genitals melting off after taking a table leg to the eye.

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Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
 1984  4.1 stars 117 mins Anime & Animation   Rated: PG

Reviewed on 22/Oct/07

Not my favorite Miyazaki, but if you are a fan of Studio Ghibli you have to watch it just to see where the studio got its beginnings. While the story was a little plodding, the casting and voicing of the film were good and very enjoyable. My favorite quote: Uma Thurman as Kushana after being asked if she lost her hand to an insect - "Yes, and whatever lucky man becomes my husband shall see far worse than that."

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The Amazing Screw-On Head
 2006  3.7 stars 22 mins Anime & Animation   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 19/Oct/07

Irreverent, witty, well drawn and voiced. I was pleasantly surprised, then instantly sad because there was only one if these and it's only 22 minutes long. Some very clever lines that keep you chuckling well after the show is over. "Groin's looking out for your behind, Head! You can't keep him at arm's length!"

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Rise: Blood Hunter
 2007  2.9 stars 122 mins Horror   Rated: UR

Reviewed on 15/Oct/07

Quick summary, vampires are horny, hungry, don't have fangs, and have very full schedules (so they can only meet at midnight). I had thought that Lucy Liu was acting badly in "Charlie's Angels" on purpose. You know, to kind of go with that 70's Cop Show feel? But uh....maybe it wasn't an act. The plot wasn't very well thought out, there were sub-plots that were only hinted at which, if the movie wasn't going to be a non-stop vampire butt kicking, should have been explored. It felt like the movie was an excuse to cover naked women with fake blood and have them writhe around in it. I'm not complaining about naked writhing, but "Rise" needed to pick something and stick with it. Either be erotic, or an action movie, or explore alternative vampire folklore.

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28 Weeks Later
 2007  3.4 stars 99 mins Horror   Rated: R

Reviewed on 15/Oct/07

Admittedly not as good as the "28 Days Later". Danny Boyle should have directed as well as (or instead of) producing, however still an enjoyable movie and a respectable attempt at a sequel. Every sequel can't be "Godfather 2" and there are bound to be differences in style and production design from one director to the next. I've read complaints in other reviews that this isn't a real *horror* movie. No, it's not. It's a Zombie movie, and there are differences in this sub-genre from its main category. This movie is about the struggles of post-apocalyptic survival, and the drama of dealing with fellow human beings that have made a drastic break form society. There are still enough GOTCHA moments to keep it thrilling, but it can't compete with some of the skin crawling horror masterpieces, and it shouldn't try to. Plot holes...well yes, but it *is* a zombie movie. Yes, it's not a zombie movie in the sense that the dead don't crawl from their graves and seek the tender and juicy brains of unsuspecting teenagers, but when a large portion of your friends and neighbors want to kill you, what they do with your brains is a moot point.

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Flight of the Living Dead
 2007  2.9 stars 96 mins Horror   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 08/Oct/07

Very enjoyable. One of the better Zombie movies I've seen in a while. Very original script, and a lot of interesting ideas. A zombie who's lost her dentures? A frustrated zombie that can't figure out how to undo his seatbelt? An amputated Zombie Nun? Yep, Flight of the Living Dead has it. Naturally it also includes the requisite bad guys who shouldn't have been playing God, but the money was just too good. Erick Avari makes a wonderful zombie and, although Kevin J. O'Conner's character starts out slow, he eventually gets into his groove and and his antics are reminiscent of his performance as Beni in The Mummy.

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Underworld
 2003  3.8 stars 134 mins Horror   Rated: R

Reviewed on 05/Oct/07

Okay, if you are expecting to see "Citizen Kane" don't rent a movie where the premise is a war between Werewolves and Vampires. You get what you pay for. Kate Beckinsale is sexy and deadly, Bill Nighy is old and creepy, and Kevin Grevioux is bass and badass. In the end I found myself really rooting for Scott Speedman's character (Michael), and wanted him to kill all the bad guys, find a little cottage in Transylvania, settle down with Kate (Selene) and raise a litter Vampwolves (Werepires?) of their very own. Don't expect much range from the characters, vampires are notoriously emo, and that really limits them to brooding and angry. Werewolves are even worse. They are pretty much angry all the time, and are either hairy or naked. Again, this isn't an intellectual movie and won't be a deep philosophical and spiritual experience for you, but IMHO it's good fun and worth watching.

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Immortal
 2004  3.0 stars 102 mins Sci-Fi & Fantasy   Rated: R

Reviewed on 01/Oct/07

While I don't think the premise is explored or explained in sufficient detail, the visual effects and production values make it worth watching. Think "Blade Runner" meets "The Fifth Element". The CG characters were about the same quality as "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within", and the mix between CG and live action didn't detract from the movie once you got used to it. The movie really leaves you wanting more. You want to know more about the history, the characters, the environment, but that ends up being part of its appeal.

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Resident Evil: Extinction
 2007  3.6 stars 94 mins Sci-Fi & Fantasy   Rated: R

Reviewed on 25/Sep/07

Yeah okay, a telekinetic Alice might be getting a little Anime for this franchise, but come on, It's Milla Jovovich! The movie seemed to rely on "gotcha!" moments more than just stand up zombie fighting, but there was still plenty of action. The character of Albert Wesker was more irritating than evil, but the results were the same -- By the end of the of the movie I wanted a sequel so Alice could go kick his butt too. Over all not my favorite Resident Evil, but it was worth the price of a matinée ticket, and will be one that I add to my personal DVD collection.

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Red Dwarf: Series 3
 1988  4.1 stars 164 mins Television   Rated: R

Reviewed on 24/Sep/07

All of the episodes in this series are enjoyable to watch, but "Backwards" stands out. Not just the bodily humor involved in visiting a world where time goes in reverse, but the thought that went into what living in that world would be like. The cause and effect (or effect and cause I guess) is fun to watch unfold. "Polymorph" is another favorite where the cast and writers get a chance to explore the characters after they've had one of their major emotions sucked out. Out of all the episodes, "The Last Day" was probably the most disappointing to me. It was still standard Red Dwarf fun, but seemed to drag a bit, and the character of Hudzen didn't seem menacing, just overblown.

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Undead
 2003  2.8 stars 104 mins Horror   Rated: R

Reviewed on 22/Sep/07

I must say the cover and the closing scene are my favorite parts. They bring to mind the strong heroine characters from the "Resident Evil" franchise and the 1990 remake of "Night of the Living Dead". How can you not fall for a girl who knows how to handle her shotgun (or even three shotguns welded together)? This movie isn't the greatest zombie flick but it does try hard to have an interesting twist on the standard plot and there are some genuinely funny parts.

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Quick and the Undead
 2006  2.3 stars 78 mins Horror   Rated: NR  until 01-Apr-2010

Reviewed on 20/Sep/07

Okay, you really have to be a fan of the Zombie genre to enjoy this movie. Acting isn't great, story is only so-so, but the effects aren't bad and the premise is interesting. There are slow bits where the movie tries too hard to include interesting dialog. There are a lot of other zombie movies you should watch other than this one, but if you've seen most of them, add this one to your queue.

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The Long Kiss Goodnight
 1996  3.7 stars 120 mins Action & Adventure   Rated: R

Reviewed on 20/Sep/07

One of my all time favorites. Geena Davis and Samuel L. Jackson *make* this movie. Geena Davis is absolutely convincing as assassin Charly Baltimore, and the transformation from school teacher to sexy, hard core, CIA operative is fun and fascinating to watch. The only negative thing I can say about this movie is that the character of Caitlin (Charly's daughter) was so annoying that I wasn't sure I wanted Charly to save her. After watching this movie the first time, I spent the next month saying "Chef's do that!"

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Aeon Flux: Animated Collection
 1995  3.7 stars 224 mins Television   Rated: PG-13

Reviewed on 19/Sep/07

If you're expecting something like the watered down film version staring Charlize Theron, you're in for a shock. Don't get me wrong, the movie was okay, but there's no way it can capture the deep and at times even disturbing imagery of Peter Chung's classic. Nothing is sacred. Sexuality, physiology, social and political norms are twisted, bent, broken, and painfully exposed in this groundbreaking work of animation. This isn't Bugs Bunny and The Roadrunner (not that they are bad either), so be ready to be surprised -- pleasantly I hope.

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Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
 2004  4.1 stars 120 mins Anime & Animation   Rated: NR  until 01-Apr-2010

Reviewed on 18/Sep/07

You can't really expect the same production values from a series that were in Mamoru Oshii's "Ghost in the Shell", and "Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence", however the series comes close and does deliver interesting story lines and some of the futuristic/cybernetic details that made the movies so enjoyable. I personally found the Tachikoma insipid and a little annoying (you might recognize one of the voices as Ed from "Cowboy Bebop: The Movie").

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Dead Men Walking
 2005  2.7 stars 85 mins Horror   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 12/Sep/07

If you're a fan of the Zombie genre, it's worth a watch. Acting is okay for a low budget (estimated $500,000) flick. This film borrows from such Zombie classics as 28 Days later (got to love projectile vomiting of blood), and Night of the Living Dead. The CDC arrange to have a convicted murderer transfered to a high security prison because he is potentially infected with a contagious disease that causes its victims to die, then become reanimated as violent zombies. Naturally the disease doesn't stay contained for long and our heroine from the CDC has to try and contend with the situation. Her only clue to the disease is a prisoner that was transferred at the same time who listened to the infected man's seemingly mad rantings. Throw in a hard nosed prison guard, the warden, his son (picked a good day to come see dad's work), and the obligatory hard timers in search of "new meat", and this movie will do if you have nothing else to watch.

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Bottle Rocket
 1996  3.5 stars 91 mins Comedy   Rated: R

Reviewed on 07/Sep/07

Is it fair to review a movie that that you couldn't finish watching? I'm a fan of Wes Anderson and have given everything else he has done 5 stars, but Bottle Rocket simply wasn't in the same league as the rest of his films. Luke Wilson's performance was so subdued you really believe that he (not just his character) was just released from a mental institution and is still taking large doses of Lithium. Owen Wilson's performance, or maybe just his character, was annoying to the point that I had to quit half way through.

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Dead Life
 2005  1.8 stars 92 mins Horror   Rated: NR

Reviewed on 05/Sep/07

The best thing about this movie is the cover, which is misleading because the special effects don't even come close to what it promises. Rather that waste your time watching this, get a video camera, go into your basement and make your own...it can't be any worse.

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Timeline
 2003  3.3 stars 116 mins Sci-Fi & Fantasy   Rated: PG-13  until 01-May-2010

Reviewed on 30/Aug/07

If you like Michael Crichton and you enjoyed the book you'll be disappointed in the movie. That being said if you've had a bad day and just want to slouch on the sofa and watch something mind numbing and familiar, then Timeline might be a good pick.

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